September 8, 2024

Balenciaga Releases New $2000 Shit-Covered Mennonite Rubber Boots

Luxury Spanish fashion brand Balenciaga has just announced the release of what they call the “Menno Boot”, a farm-used rubber boot caked in cow shit.

“And best of all, it’s only $2000,” said fashionista Erin Wieler. “I’m sure going to be the talk of the town with my new Balenciaga footwear!”

The Menno Boots were revealed at a fashion show in Milan this week, which was so popular it required twenty extra security guards, plus about 100 extra custodians to clean up all the manure.

“The boots are hand-made at a tiny boutique in northern Alberta,” said Wieler. “They’ve got dozens of Mennonites in the La Crete area tromping through the pastures to make sure these boots are extra special.”

At press time, the boots have sold out and have already several knock-offs.

“But I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing the fake shit-covered rubber boots,” said Wieler. “To me there’s just something about Balenciaga that just can’t be matched by any other manure.”

The brand is also planning to release a $1500 pair of gitch worn by chicken catchers from the Kleefeld area.

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